Quick Card Game

During our first AIE Game Jam (2 1/2 days to make a game) we were short on programmers and were tasked with creating a tabletop game instead.
Here are my card contributions which, in fairness, make about as much sense with context as without it.

Pelican Regent
(God Save the Peli-Queen)

Existential Uncertainty
(WHAT IS REAL!?)

Sentient Tongue
(Disgusting but oddly charismatic)

Bashful Aberration
(Beyond mortal comprehension but too shy to destroy humanity)

The Double-Edged Sword
(Technically double-bladed so it has four edges but that's not important)